"What I Had to Leave Behind" at 2022 HollyShorts Film Festival

The Oscar-qualifying HollyShorts Film Festival hosted a screening of What I Had to Leave Behind at the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood, CA on August 18th, 2022. It was a fun night sharing the evening with my friends and collaborators from the film: cinematographer Wenting Deng Fisher and animator Cassie Shao. Our mighty sound mixer Jackie! Zhou had three films in the shorts block we played in, including our own!

Post-screening Q&A after the “Docs II” shorts block at the 2022 HollyShorts Film Festival in Hollywood, CA - August 18th, 2022. (Photo by Shengwei Zhou)

Joe Berry - Motions

Designed titles & lettering for Joe Berry’s two-volume debut album "Motions," to be released later this year.

28th Palm Springs International ShortFest - June 24th, 2022

I was honored to share the screen with so many brilliant creatives at this year’s Palm Springs International ShortFest. I feel the journey of a film isn’t complete until an audience experiences it together. With that, What I Had to Leave Behind was embraced in a way that was completely unexpected and so gratifying for me & the crew who attended. Special thanks to Getty Images & David Crotty for capturing on the red carpet how I felt that entire week: grateful and proud of whatever comes next.

Dolphin Hyperspace at ETA: June 17th, 2022

Dolphin Hyperspace performs at ETA in Highland Park (Los Angeles) as part of their “Tiny Marine Life” residency in June. It was incredible witnessing the prodigious musical talents of Jon Hatamiya on trombone, Logan Kane on bass & synth programming and saxophonist/multireedist Nicole McCabe.

Dolphin Hyperspace is a sonically adventurous jazz ensemble that blends electronic music and bebop influences into frenetic songs that crackle with mischief and joy. I’ll definitely be seeing more of them in the future, any and every chance I get!

"What I Had to Leave Behind" at 2022 Palm Springs International ShortFest

As we wrapped miniature photography on What I Had to Leave Behind last spring, cinematographer Wenting Deng Fisher had an idea for a behind-the-scenes picture. I had to crawl underneath the set, a dollhouse-scale replica of my old Los Angeles Koreatown apartment, to get to the other side and give her the best angle. One year later, I'm looking at myself through this doorway, reflecting on all that was unknown at the time for my film & I. I hadn't yet added Cassie Shao's remarkable animation or Branden Brown’s evocative score (his first for film). Not even Jackie! Zhou’s immersive sound mix or Alastor Arnold’s impeccable color. This film would just be an empty room without my crew.

Wenting Deng Fisher adjusts her camera on the miniature set of What I Had to Leave Behind.

Later this month, our film will be making its west coast premiere at the 2022 Palm Springs International ShortFest, selected to compete in the "Best Animated Short" program. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude. For all those currently in the middle of a project or a pathway that seems obscured, keep moving. Don't be afraid to ask your peers for help. If and when you're blessed with their support, always give it back to your community two-fold. You're always stronger when you build together!

Palm Springs is an institution. Their thoughtful Oscar, BATFA & Goya Award-qualifying programming elevates the craft of short films. It's an honor to participate this year with my latest offering. Please check out the rest of my peers on the #shortfest2022 YouTube playlist to hear all about their wonderful work.

Animating memories with Charlotte Arene

Charlotte Arene is a filmmaker & animator specializing in stop motion and After Effects. Having long been a fan of her intricate work visualizing memoirs, monologues and dreams, I commissioned her to direct the music video for “I Miss the Old You.” Our collaborative process took place over email and international Zoom calls, each of us exchanging reflections on the song’s themes of loss and regret. My aim as a producer was to build a sandbox with enough fertile ground to support Charlotte’s process with the trust that’s essential for a creative partnership. She describes her instincts creating something that resonates with the lyrics & melody just as strongly as with her philosophy as an artist: 

La mer à boire (2020) by Charlotte Arene.

“Five months prior to Sean offering me the visualizer for ‘I Miss the Old You,’ I’d taken a deep dive into the huge boxes of photographs and negatives stored in my parent’s basement. I was looking for childhood pictures of my older sister to animate them into a short film. It was to be my wedding gift for her and her fiancé.”

“As an animator, the experience was exhilarating. As a sister, it was extremely moving. What I felt as I went through these hundreds of photographs was surprisingly akin to sorrow, and it was still lingering at the back of my mind when I first listened to Sean’s song and imagined how I could respond to it.”

Concept art & animation notes by Charlotte Arene. (Photo courtesy of the artist.)

Sean’s sister flies a kite at a family picnic, circa 1990. (Photo courtesy of Christensen family archive.)

“I knew I wanted to work with photographs again, and Sean was very open and generous when I asked if I could work with some of his childhood pictures. We exchanged via email, made a selection, and discussed how I could stage them. Early on, I was fixated on the idea of a force of some kind, pulling those photographs away from a desk or a wall…a physical representation of that tug I felt when I listened to the song. It started off as a gravitational pull, then evolved into a surfing motion. Finally, it settled on a strong wind. It’s funny, in retrospect, how the idea got lighter.”

“The minute this image took root, I saw something in three pictures of his sister I hadn’t noticed before: she was holding onto a string, so fine I had missed it at first. The string led to something upwards and out of frame. Then it hit me. She was holding a kite. The image just fell into place and I knew this would be the perfect photograph to animate. I’m glad it resonated with Sean and I’m very grateful to him and his sister for allowing me to use it.”

Miniature VHS necklace

Tara Edwards (The Tissues, Coleco Club) models one of my "VHS Sleepover Necklaces," handcrafted miniature videocassette pendants inspired by films that help us recognize ourselves and give voice to our dreams and desires. "It kinda reminds me of being in high school,” says Tara. “Secretly renting and watching wlw (women loving women) movies with a girl I liked late at night. It’s also unabashedly camp, punk, DIY, in-your-face and femme, which embodies queerness to me and reminds me of the queer icons I looked up to then. I think it makes me feel nostalgic and comfortable."

I hope to make more of these. I’m touched when one of my pieces can resonate so deeply with someone.

Designing titles for "George Ezra - Anyone For You"

I adore the feeling of handwriting on screen for a film’s title sequence. Whenever I’m asked to contribute mine for a music video, I slow my process down and start on paper. Listening to the song on headphones, I practice the shape of each letter, pouring a lot of consideration into how my design blends with the lyrics and the melody. I embraced this opportunity to collaborate with director Andrew Donoho again, after we’d worked together on “Find My Way” with Paul McCartney & Beck. It’s my hope that my lettering leaves behind a soulful impression on the visual accompaniment to each song I’m a part of, creating memorable experiences for the viewer.

Main title design for "George Ezra - Anyone For You," directed by Andrew Donoho.

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End credit sequence from "George Ezra - Anyone For You," directed by Andrew Donoho.

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Black marker on sheets of office paper. Also pictured, my headphones with the song on repeat.

"What I Had to Leave Behind," original motion picture score by Branden Brown

It was a joy working with multireedist and composer Branden Brown on his first film score for What I Had to Leave Behind. A graduate of the USC Thornton School of Music Jazz Studies program, I discovered his gift for composing at one of the school’s jazz concerts, all of which, had been converted to pre-recorded livestreams during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. Coincidentally, I was able to virtually attend more concerts than I had been able to do so years before in person, and the experience forever opened my mind and ears to these remarkably talented musicians.

July 17th, 2021 - Composer and saxophonist Branden Brown tunes his instrument in the scoring stage of BioSoul Music; Los Angeles, CA. (Photo by Sean David Christensen)

Branden assembled an exceptional ensemble to perform his original jazz score, which he conducted from behind his player’s podium as the saxophonist. Joining him in the BioSoul Music scoring stage were trumpeter Ethan Chilton, bass clarinetist Eric Croissant, drummer/percussionist Lauren Ellis and bassist Cyrus Elia. Adding later on to the score, remotely, was keyboardist Magdalena Daniec of Joy Guerilla. The session was engineered by Daniel Weidlein.

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As we wait for our film festival premiere and an opportunity to share What I Had to Leave Behind in its entirety, please enjoy Branden’s musical score that evokes the film’s contemplative themes of remembrance and letting go of the past. (Music animation by Cassie Shao. Photography by Wenting Deng Fisher.)

Working in miniatures: Dystopian sci-fi semi-truck

I hadn’t fully comprehended the size of my latest miniature, a five-and-a-half-foot long “land train,” until I sat down behind it for a photoshoot at Dreaming Tree studio in Burbank, my friend Kate from The Daily Mini behind the camera. Transporting it to set on the morning of December 12th, each plastic squeak as it rattled in the back of my Nissan Versa hatchback stirred up memories of cradling school projects, dioramas, in back of my mother’s car, worried that they’d fall apart at the slightest bump in the road. But we made it, all 65 inches of this dystopian sci-fi semi truck painted in battleship grey for the upcoming sci-fi black comedy Animal, directed by Lauren Adams.

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Set against the canvas of a collapsed, alternate history America, the film's characters pilot a massive self-driving, windowless ship for the monolithic company "PostHaste." We follow these two women as they cargo tons of freight across a desolate expanse of abandoned cities as they deliver supplies for an ongoing and ambiguous rebuild of the country. Or, so says the company. The ship was modeled from a floor plan of the life-size interior set built for the actors, which was then scaled down to 1:24 to maintain its proportions. I was inspired by the unsympathetic nature of PostHaste and its complete lack of regard for the human pilots' safety in piloting their ship. You may see there are no safety measures on the vehicle: No guard rails or warning labels that you might ordinarily see on massive industrial equipment to protect the manufacturer against litigation from personal injury. In this dystopian future, the ship represents (even from a color standpoint) this massive, grey unsympathetic force that plows through anything, even people, to make more money. The size and heft of this miniature is a pointed commentary on that theme in the script: Packages must be delivered, no matter what the human cost.

The crew of the miniature unit shoot on Animal (from left to right): Miniaturist Sean David Christensen, miniature unit cinematographer Wenting Deng Fisher, director Lauren Adams, set decorator/set PA Manon Crespin & co-writer/producer, Jeff Roberts.

The cockpit of the miniature is a partly deconstructed model kit of two semi trucks designed by AMT Models. These were used to match the life-sized interior of the ship, shot on a soundstage months prior. The other materials I used were wet media board, basswood, wooden dowels and bits of recycled plastic to "bulk out" the form. I handcrafted the shape of the front windshield and side windows to match the life-sized film set, so the edit would be as seamless as possible between the miniature and the actors inside the ship. For the windshield, I used a piece of lighting gel (ND filter) to simulate a tinted window. I didn't want the audience to be able to look inside. There's something sinister about not being able to see what's going on behind the “steel curtain” of this imposing vessel. The completed ship is just over five feet long when fully connected, made up of a cockpit living quarters section and two shipping containers joined together by "mechanical joints" made of basswood. These joints mask the seams in between each car, and create an illusion of this ship being one continuous machine, a force of industrial brutality.

Mixtape: The Wandering Soul

Image by Bryan Ahonen, courtesy of Radiolab & WYNC Studios

Earlier this year, Simon Adler of Radiolab & WYNC Studios reached out to me to discuss my film Ghost Tape #10 and its exploration of the US Army’s PSYOP campaigns waged against the Northern Vietnamese (NVA) during the American War in Vietnam. We both reflected on the cruelty of these “ghost tapes” that were created, weaponizing the fear of wandering souls against the psyches of fatigued Vietnamese soldiers far from home. With this latest entry in his new Radiolab series “Mixtape,” Simon has crafted an intricate piece of storytelling as only his celebrated creative team can, with rich texture and testimony from those who left behind their own “footprints of war” (phrasing courtesy of author David Biggs). Special thanks and continued gratitude to my MVA instructor and faculty mentor at the USC Center for Visual Anthropology, professors Jenny Cool & Janet Hoskins, for their support of my research and the ensuing film created there.

Title design: Paul McCartney "Find My Way" feat. Beck

What a privilege it was, to design titles for Paul McCartney's "Find My Way" music video, featuring Beck. Directed by Andrew Donoho, this kaleidoscopic visualization of the lead track from McCartney III Imagined is a fantastical exploration of the 1960s with quite a few surprises along the way. The creative team & I found inspiration in Jean-Luc Godard’s Vivre sa vie and other films from the French New Wave, whose title sequences favored blown spacing between letters and sharp typography to communicate an austere modernity.

Christian Lee Hutson - Yellow House Sessions

A handful of songs from one of my favorite albums of 2020, Beginners, is given an intimate presentation in Yellow House Sessions with guest artist Christian Lee Hutson. His delicate craft of melody paired with scalpel sharp lyrics always cuts through.

Photo by Daniel Prakopcyk.

Title design for "Olivia Rodrigo - SOUR Prom"

I got invited to Olivia Rodrigo’s SOUR Prom this weekend by my dear friend and celebrated music video director Kimberly Stuckwisch. I was the title designer for the 28-minute concert film, framing the dizzying and dreamlike ball set to Rodrigo’s anthems of teenage heartbreak.

Behind the scenes: "What I Had to Leave Behind"

Here I am dusting the miniature set of What I Had to Leave Behind, my latest film. In my (comparatively massive) hand, I’m wielding the same 1/2 inch acrylic paintbrush I used to paint this dollhouse-scale apartment. I should’ve made a dust pan before I started sweeping, too! Photographed by my director of photography, Wenting Deng Fisher, we wrapped filming in April 2021 with these miniature unit shots to help tell the story of this hybrid live-action/animation diary film. Featuring animation by my friend Cassie Shao, an original jazz score by Branden Brown and sound design by Jackie! Zhou, I’m looking forward to completion this summer and building whatever comes next!

Miniature scenic art for "A Puff Before Dying"

It was a joy to create scenic art with my friends at the Bob Baker Marionette Theater for this innovative short film. Everything was built to marionette scale, a bedside lamp here, a hairdryer there…A Puff Before Dying, with a cast of four handcrafted puppets, is a tongue-in-cheek romp about the dangers of driving under the influence. PSA directed by the fiendishly clever Michael Reich & Mike Pinkney of Yellow Veil Pictures. Premiering at the Midnight Shorts competition at SXSW earlier this year, I was so proud to be a part of this hardworking, visionary crew. Click here to learn more about the film.

The doomed heroine of A Puff Before Dying. (Writer/Director: Michael Reich, Mike Pinkney; Puppet design and fabrication by Bob Baker Marionette Theater.)

Title design for Sharon Van Etten & Angel Olsen

I contributed title designs for Sharon Van Etten & Angel Olsen’s collaborative anthem “Like I Used To,” given electric cinematic life by the ever inventive director, Kimberly Stuckwisch.

CREDITS

Directed & Production Designed by: Kimberly Stuckwisch (@stuckwisch) / Produced by: Ian Blair (@ian_swank_nsour_blizair) / Cinematography by: Justin Hamilton (justinphamilton) / Costume Design by: Phoenix Mellow (@phoenixmellow) / Edited by: Ellis Bahl (@ellisbahl) / VFX Supervisor: Ryan Ross (@ryromofo) / 1st Assistant Director: Hayden Rusk (@haydenrusk) / Production Manager: Jon-Michael Burgess / 1st Assistant Camera: Joshua Kirkwood / Gaffer: Julian Janigo (@360grip) / Key Grip: Darrin Stuckwisch (@beastieboyness) / Swing: Michelle O'Shea (@michelleelizabethoshea) / Makeup Artist: Rebecca Abram / Hair Artist: Mara Roszak (@mararoszak) / Construction by: Jack Massura (@jackmassura) / Color by: Kaitlyn Battistelli (@kaitlynbattistelli) / Title Design by: Sean David Christensen (@seandavidchristensen)

an Invisible Inc production (@inv.isibleinc) / Special Thanks to Zebulon, Lisa Hiatt, Jessi Williams, and Ryan Ross for donating locations and Elisa Randazzo of Cameo Clothing for donating clothing.

Title design for Moschino "Jungle Red"

Title design and animation for Jungle Red, a short film directed by Jeremy Scott for debuting the Moschino Fall/Winter 2021 Collection. I was brought aboard this project by my dear friend and filmmaker Kimberly Stuckwisch, who produced this cavalcade of high fashion and cheekiness with co-producers Geoff Yim, Ian Blair and Brooke Pace.

A conversation with “Lata” filmmakers Alisha Tejpal and Mireya Martinez

A meditation on class and space in South Mumbai, Lata frames the life of a young domestic worker (the film’s namesake) within contrasting privileged and prohibited interior worlds. Director Alisha Tejpal and producer Mireya Martinez, who both co-wrote the screenplay, shared with me their creative process shortly after the screening of their film at the 2021 Sundance Film Festival.

ARCHITECTURE, DISTANCE & PRIVACY

Tejpal: Before even knowing the story, the film was very much structured around the idea of wanting to capture modern day, post-colonial architecture and spaces in India that reflect the ways in which even urban architecture perpetuates this system. The home is divided in particular ways, there's particular corridors and doors that cut access. The quarters that the help live in are so segregated, both in sound and in location. So, this idea of wanting to have this architectural element play a role as a character in the film was very important to us. We started to script keeping in mind that the film would at first just be this look into small, segmented spaces of the home, and as the film proceeds, we open the world so you get a sense of the architecture of the entire space. The sound of the outdoors is what would guide us in understanding how far Lata is from something, how much she can hear or can't hear.

Martinez: I remember while we were writing the script, Alisha said something very funny to me...that she couldn't ever envision the film in a close-up. It's almost like her brain had a block where it just all took place in single wide takes that cut into each other.

Tejpal: Yeah, that's true. I do think the film benefited from my not-yet-advanced filmmaker brain in the sense that when it came to editing, I was still unable to fully comprehend shot sizes. So, my natural go-to response has always been wides. The framing of the film was very much an attempt at maintaining distance from the lead as a constant reminder to the audience that the filmmaker is of a different class and caste, right? That the filmmaker is an outsider, and I’m not in any way proposing to give a voice or be a voice for the various actors. They have their own voices and very much have the agency for it. That isn't my job or my place to do. In some ways that dictates the distance, as well as this repetitive reminder, even to the viewer, that we are looking into a life that also has its own privacy. We had a rule with our DP (Director of Photography, Ravi Kiran Ayyagari) that no matter what, the camera always stays at eye level. Even if it's not the best, most beautiful frame – we meet Lata at eye level, no matter what. As much as you are getting access to, I am getting access to as well. The access, in this case, is being controlled by Lata and protecting and preserving her own privacy as well.

PROTECTING THE VISION

Martinez: It's a very close creative collaboration. I was a co-writer and a producer and a creative producer. I think all of those roles may sound like a lot, but to me they make sense. The writing component was the one that stuck more to being a co-writer, whereas the other roles merged into one, becoming a facilitator for Alisha's vision – also a protector of the vision itself. Firstly, you're supposed to take care of getting what you actually need for the film. I think for awhile she (Alisha Tejpal) had a very strict, theoretical idea of what she wanted the film to be. But the whole time I was like, "Okay, I understand that it has to hit these aesthetic constraints that you want to reach. And you want it to do XYZ on a theoretical claim, but where’s the meat? So, a lot of our co-writing exercises were more about dragging out the meat and putting it on the page. The script. As a producer, it was just about—

Tejpal: As a protector.

Martinez: (Laughs) …as a protector.

Tejpal: I want to know this too.

Martinez: I think as a director, if you're doing too much, you’re bound to stray away from the thing you want to make. I remember that because I'm also a filmmaker and I definitely struggle, or have struggled in the past from trying to do too much, which I think is part of what makes me a reasonably good producer.

Tejpal: I like the term “protector,” and I think that's where the role of a creative producer comes in, depending on the relationship. It's not about how many shots you can get and how much of the film you can get. It's about figuring out what serves the film best.

Martinez: This is a silly example, but as a director—I was trying to shoot this short film. Alisha was on camera and it was my own project. I wrote the script about a little girl whose turtle dies. I was doing too many things at once, so I went and ran out to the rental house to get a little fake turtle. But between the stress of directing and the shoot and all of these things, I forgot a key component, which was that the turtle was supposed to be the size of the fish tank. And I ended up renting a tortoise.

Tejpal: A tortoise. (Makes shape with hands)

Martinez: And that's what I tried to not let happen to Alisha. It's about catching all the things that would distract her from what she's actually trying to make.

Director Alisha Tejpal & producer Mireya Martinez (standing, first and second from right) review their camera setup on location in a residential apartment in South Mumbai. Crewmembers Hetal Dedhia (Gaffer) Vandita Jain (1st Assistant Camera) and Director of Photography Ravi Kiran-Avaggari look on.

OCCUPYING THE SPACE

Martinez: We had a very leisurely schedule, which was a choice. The pace was very slow, it couldn’t have been made any faster. Sometimes we’d have an hour-long break in the middle of the day because if we have control of the set, why don’t we do what we would like in the real world? There were moments where the crew would look at us and just be like, "Why are we waiting for the sunlight? Just light it.” And we had to stick to the original vision and wait for the light outside to naturally change.

Tejpal: Just to add, I think the biggest thing we learnt from all of this was that you have to serve the project what it needs, right? I don't think it would’ve been possible to have made Lata without non-professional actors and on a tight schedule. If I want this woman's presence to fill the frame and I want whatever her body carries to find its own meaning within the space, then I need to give her time and time doesn't necessarily mean with the camera rolling. So, we shot over five days. We could’ve done it in three, but we gave it time. There was time for her to repeat the gestures, or the living room shot where she swept. She must've swept eight times before we even shot it.

Martinez: Or just be there.

Tejpal: Or just be there, and I think it had all of that. It's not something you can rehearse, right? It's muscle memory. And it's the way your body reacts to objects. And I think all of that infuses the frame. And for that, we had to make sure the base of the film permitted her to keep up and to sort of experience the space and give her the space to do that. But we also used it like a framing device, right? Because we don't really hear her name until the end of the film, so it became a play on who does the audience latch themselves onto in the first scene? When a film opens, there's a certain expectation of story and how we read story and where we latch ourselves onto what stories we think are worthy of our attention. And similarly, what characters usually tend to dominate stories. We were interested in also playing with that, the ways in which we attach ourselves to upper class and upper caste characters in the frame almost instantly, because the working class is always usually the background, unless sort of “made a protagonist” by a specific cinematic language, like a close-up.

Martinez: It’s something that I believe in, and I think Alisha does too. I think when these choices have a true history, or depth, or are thought through, usually people feel it even if they're not consciously aware of that depth.

Tejpal: It’s something we both agree on. For cinema to be accessible, it doesn't mean it has to be passive. It can still be cinema that demands participation and that if you leave the room with questions, then I think that's more interesting to me than giving you all of the answers. I think in some ways, both of us resist this idea of cinema being universal and this idea that it speaks in the exact same way to everybody. I think there's a beauty to not knowing everything and that it's okay for a foreign audience to watch something about a particular environment in India and not know. As long as it allows space for participation and space for questions, I think it's successful.

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Lata will make its European premiere at the International Film Festival Rotterdam, June 2nd through 6th.

"Growing" by Jamie Griffiths

A beautiful pencil animation from Jamie Griffiths - of CalArts School of Film/Video | Experimental Animation program.